One Wooden Conga

Playing percussion live meant sometimes being invited out somewhere and for the economy of fitting a multi-piece band onto limited space, being asked to bring just one conga to the performance, instead of my customary, four drum set-up. 

One conga drum, simply to keep time or to spice up the trap drum set with well placed conga tones, delivered with a bit of creativity, indeed, will suffice. 

But what beauty and depth is brought to the performance with the addition of three more conga drums, each tuned up or down from the one primary, wood drum, the conga. A stage set-up with four, individually tuned conga drums, shakers, tambourines, and bells played in some order, sometimes more, sometimes less, never overbearing, works to magnify the intensity of "spice" a percussionist adds to an ensemble or rock group.

Everything can be gained by praying and worshiping Jesus Christ alone, though God Himself is a Trinity, a great spiraling and swirling love affair between a Father, a Son, and a Holy Spirit.  We learn to pray to God through his Son, Jesus Christ. 

 

For Catholic believers, there's also an extra dimension if you will; beauty, efficacy, and consolation in thinking about all the other characters and creation of the great story of our salvation, especially Mary, the mother of God, all the angels, and those human beings throughout history behind the growth of Christianity, many even dying for the Christian faith, the saints.

The more I study and adore the life of Jesus Christ the man, God having become human flesh, the more apt I become in trying to imitate the 24/7 of his sacred humanity.   Inevitably this means recognizing as a fact Jesus Christ, from the very first day of his life on earth, interacted with and loved ALL of his creation, but beyond measure, loved especially human kind in ALL of its dimensions.  Jesus prayed to the Father every chance he had but he also interacted with ALL of creation to teach, pray, and make known the Kingdom of God.

The Bible account of Jesus' birth illustrates this grandly.  Mother Mary, Saint Joseph and the Holy family have a Son, Jesus Christ born in a manger with a donkey, a cow, and a host of visitors from poor shepherds to rich and generous Kings.  In our own families we have a mother, a father, brothers, and sisters.  ALL there to love and to ask things.  A family might even bring in a dog to love or a cat to love.  Oh, don't forget about one's uncles, aunts, cousins and best friends; you can love and ask them things too.  Ask what?  How do I look today?  Can I borrow some money?  Will you cook me something?  How does this sound?  Can we visit?  Will you pray for me?  Just like Jesus did, the One all Christians are called to imitate.

And there's more.  We learn about (and try to imitate) the great love for and obedience Jesus showed his mother and his friends growing up into adulthood.  We witness the help his apostles gave him, we witness the intercessory pleas he responded to from people representing other people who couldn't quite reach him.  We see his love and concern for family members of the deceased. 

I'm telling you, Jesus, in all of his sacred humanity, just wouldn't be satisfied with one wooden conga! 

Fast forward.  Creation, His and ours, speaks of diversity too. We have incredible choices of foods, wines, paintings, music, careers, automobiles, and homes to enjoy.  Many different houses of worship too: the Lutherans on the corner, the Methodists down the road, the Baptists across town, the Catholics downtown, etc., ALL having a fervent devotion to Jesus Christ.  And many more, ALL worshiping a transcendental God.  And still more, All believing in multiple gods, and another group, All believing in no god what-so-ever.

There's not just one bird, one cat; but scores and scores of bird species and house-cats, bobcats, cheetahs, leopards, lions, tigers, jaguars, etc. 

Creation shouts loudly regarding depth and diversity and God calls it ALL good.

I feel the tide of finger pointing and cries of "relativist" beginning to descend upon me and so I will remind the reader once again our primary Christian goal, the caveat: the imitation of Christ.

I believe we all benefit when we can contemplate ALL of Christ, using our God given imagination, imploring the Holy Spirit, the traditions of our fathers, the Bible, church teaching, etc.  Coming to know ALL dimensions of Jesus Christ's sacred humanity rather than merely confining one's perspective to something sterile and wooden, perhaps defined by a view narrowly drawn from a strictly literal interpretation of the Bible.  It's like playing one wooden conga instead of four melodic conga drums, beautifully tuned, played proportionately and at proper volume levels.  Sure, it can be done, even to some benefit and profit, when space constraints exist, but there's a cost in beauty and depth.

Diversity magnifies the Lord, Mother Mary tells us:  My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior. (Luke 1:44)

 "The virtue of humility, so evident in Our Lady's life, is truth, (cf St. Teresa of Avila, Sixth Mansion, ch 106) the true recognition of what we are and are worth in the eyes of God and of our fellow men.  It is also an emptying of ourselves to allow God to work in us with his grace. It is the rejection of appearances and of superficiality; it is the expression of the depth of the human spirit; it is a condition for its greatness (John Paul II, Angelus, 4 March 1979).  ….[W]e come before God as debtors who do not know how to discharge our debts, (cf Matt 18:23-35) and for this reason we go to Mary as the Mediatrix of all graces, to the Mother of mercy and tenderness to whom no one has had recourse in vain."  (In Conversation with God, Volume One, Advent and Christmastide, Francis Fernandez)

God isn't myopic. We discover great diversity in this, the whole entire economy of salvation that God has revealed to us: in tradition, in scripture, and in nature.  "The written law kills, but the Spirit gives life" says St. Paul in his letter to the Corinthians (2 Corinthians 3:6).  "The letter kills." repeats St. Ambrose "it is the Spirit which gives life" a spiritual a reflection of reality, of what is observed all around us. 

Yes, one can play with just one wooden conga but the voices, the melodic possibilities off all four played together is much more pleasing and robust.  I'll make the extra work to show up with all four drums any day.  Real life is much more interesting, full of depth, meaning, and unfathomable diversity, accordingly, this is the way God created it. 

Following the real life of Jesus Christ, shouldn't our faith and prayer life be equally deep and robust?

Many Hands Many Rhythms

Writing pop music percussion parts from the kitchen table may not seem like much but I learned a long time ago it's in the attention to the little things and the love that one puts into something that really does make it all count in the end.

I had studied a "Nashville Songwriting" handbook to learn that every song has got some pattern to it, for example: intro, verse, verse, chorus, solo, verse, chorus, tag.   Armed with this I could creatively orchestrate my own percussion contributions so as to play one rhythm for the verse and another rhythm for the chorus, perhaps substituting a shaker for the drum during the chorus, perhaps hitting a bell somewhere else, etc.

I would even take the time to document all of my parts for each song on sheet music that I would later display on stage with me on a music stand, sometimes to the amazement of my band mates - percussion parts are simple and repetitive who needs sheet music?

The band was called Divas and Cavaliers and there my brother Marc and I were again, just another cover band for hire, among hundreds of others.  Playing somewhere in Spicewood, Texas one summer evening during 2009, there came to the floor a young lady along with her aged companion, a  physically handicapped man, could have been a father daughter combination, to dance, perhaps for the last time, to one such song, a song where I had worked out all of the parts in advance.  Small parts, seemingly insignificant parts, but at that moment, parts contributing to a something far greater than what I could have ever imagined, a divine dance, the goodness of God made manifest.

"God desires man to flourish, to become who he is meant to be by sharing in the divine life" writes Bishop Robert Barron in his study book on Catholicism (http://www.wordonfire.org/).  "Yet this requires humility and a receptive spirit on the part of man." 

Finally, after years of practice, late night excursions, multitudes of shows and gigs I had experienced something meaningful, the million dollar payoff; a moment of depth, the epiphany that made the whole pursuit worthwhile.

Here's my contribution Lord Jesus, perhaps meager, a little effort, but just like the two fish that you turned into 5000 meals, I'm confident that my small efforts will be magnified into something meaningful and for your greater glory.

Our work, our efforts, it's not for God - God doesn't need it, nothing can be added to God; God does not exist in parts and pieces, God is everywhere all at once - omnipresent, THE source of all goodness and love.

It's really for you and me, each an orchestrator of our own life before God, tasked to make our own music with beats that will reciprocate our love back to God because God so loved us first. 

My brothers and sisters in Jesus Christ I pray that in your life too, the beat goes on.

D&C on the outdoor stage at Angel's Ice House, Spicewood, TX, Summer 2009

Seat of Honor

For a long time, the best seat in the house for me was

• on stage,
• behind a conga kit,
• with several months of near daily practice,
• well rehearsed with each song in the set list,

• having worked in a multitude of percussion instruments during the performance (tambourines, shakers, guiro, bells, clave...)

Even better if my brother Marc was sitting next to me on the drum kit - especially after having had several private jam sessions to work out any new material together. 

Under these circumstances, you just new things were going to click that night.

The seat of honor for any Austin musician would have been playing the 'Carnegie Hall' of Austin, the Antone's stage.  A who's-who's list of musicians have played here during it's 30 plus year history.  And now - I've played there too.  My brother Marc has played there, we did it together with the band called Stones Throw in 1999. 

Gary (congas) and Marc Geraci (drums) with the band Stones Throw at Antones, Austin, Texas, 1999

I think all of my brothers have had the privilege of playing a gig at Antone's at least once or twice during their musical careers.

But this seat of honor passes too quickly, fading into oblivion, no one really ever remembering it again.  Anyway, it kind of leaves a gaping hole in one's heart and one never quite stops pining for an experience like it. 

"What an enormous effort people make to be noticed and remembered and admired.  What little effort is put into being close to God!" admonishes  Fr. Francis Fernandez  (Conversations with God, Volume 5.) 

It took me a while to figure this out.  Only God is capable of filling such a hole, permanently and everlastingly.  Having gradually come to this conclusion, I finally made the choice, once and for all, to put in close to God. 

Paradoxically,  I am now taught "do not to sit in a place of honor...But when you are invited, go and sit in the lowest place, so that when your host comes he may say to you, 'Friend, go up higher'; then you will be honored in the presence of all who sit at the table with you.  For everyone who exalts himself shall be humbled, and he who humbles himself shall be exalted." Luke 14:8-11

This virtue of humility "should not be thought of as an essentially negative exercise, even though it does involve a denial of one's pride, a tampering of our ambition and the extinction of our egotism and vanity" teaches Father Fernandez.

Yeah, especially true for musicians Father, but aren't these deal killers to the essence of whom we are as performers?   "No, No! We are all children of God, created in his image; this is one's essence.  If music inspires it's only because God willed it that way first!" I can imagine him responding.

"If we examine the word humility we find it to be derived from the Latin humus, which means earth, soil, or dirt.  Humility signifies a recognition of our human origin in the dust of which Adam was made.  The virtue of humility, therefore, consists in the living out of a realistic appraisal of our comparative insignificance as creatures who are totally dependent on God." -cf. R. Garrigou-Lagrange, The Three Ages of the Interior Life, II, p. 118.

"Humility, by inclining us toward the earth, recognizes our littleness, our poverty, and in its way glorifies the majesty of God...The interior soul experiences a holy joy in annihilating itself, as it were, before God to recognize practically that He alone is great and that, in comparison with His, all human greatness is empty of truth like a lie." -ibid

Father Fernandez goes on teaching "This self-abnegation in no way impoverishes the soul.  It does not limit the legitimate aspirations of the creature.  On the contrary, this virtue works to ennoble the soul, giving it wings on which to explore wider horizons."

Slowly, I've come to know the value of detachment - I'm still working on humility though, please bear with me.  The drums and practice sessions simply don't own me anymore.  The talents are God given, they won't just vaporize into thin air, granted they may need to coaxed out of the cave of under-utilization.   With practice; should the occasion ever arise again, anything is possible on the congas, given that is, the workings of an "ennobled soul" with "wings."

Preserve It

The liberating effects of American contraception, live-in-relationships, Dr. Ruth's media messages and legalized abortion (just-in-case) couldn't have come at a better time for me.  Busting out of the inferiority shell of my youth and into the "anything goes" sexual revolution of the 80's and 90's was my ticket to happiness and fulfillment.  The parties, the clubs, the one night stands, need I say more?  Along with it came personal computers and access to a never ending stream of pornography.  We can't get enough of it would seem; the majority of the culture still acts as if this is all acceptable, signs of the time, part of a modern, progressive American culture many will say.  

But:

• No-one says anything about the violent ripping and tearing apart that happens when two hearts, supernaturally joined together during fornication, separate after things become inconvenient, constraining, or the lust just wears off; scarring and callousing the heart until it becomes cold and hardened like rock.  
• No-one prepares you for the short term horrors of an abortion procedure and the permanent long term effect of the guilt for having aided and abetted in the death of another human life.  
• No-one tells you what happens within the mind of another's child when they scream and cry out, objecting to your presence, longing for the affections of their natural father whom they seldom see now since their parents' divorce.  
• No-one tells you what it's like to find a partner leaving you for another woman, leaving her 'wilting' children with her mother for months while she 'blossoms' in the spring of her new perversion.  
• No-one to share the shame and embarrassment in treating STDs.  
• No-one says anything about the skewed view of American women you develop and the emptiness in finding her as a mere object lacking in any worthy qualities and all of the effort and will power that it will take to reverse this. 
• No-one says enough about the exploiting, manipulating, and trafficking that fuels the Internet pornography, 'gentlemen' clubs, and other sex trade operations that you patronize. 

Until now.

There is no lasting happiness and fulfillment here, sex in the American city is a deceitful sell, a downward spiral into hell itself.  The "cultural" cues that would try to tell you otherwise are false.  I know this to be true with concrete certainty because I lived it;  I struggle daily to erase it's negative effects.  

  

The sins may be forgiven but the stain never goes away, not in this lifetime. 

Your pure heart and body are a gift to your future family; your dignity, a gift from God. 

You're much better to preserve it.

"We may say that as a result of sin a threefold division has come into being for man; he has become divided from God, divided within himself, and divided from his fellow men.   First of all, by sin man was cut off from God, divided from him: that was the first division, and it is the origin and cause of the other two.  Men separated, detached from God, "become vain in their thoughts, and their foolish heart was darkened….Wherefore God gave them up to the desires of their heart, unto uncleanness...to shameful affections….And as they liked not to have God in their knowledge, God delivered them up to a reprobate sense, to do these things which are not convenient, being filled with all iniquity, malice...avarice, wickedness….inventors of evil things, foolish, without affection, without fidelity, without mercy" (Rom 1:21-31).  That is St. Paul's picture of mankind without God."  - Benedict Baur in Frequent Confession: Its Place in the Spiritual Life.   (p205)

A Little Bit of Heaven, Now

Just for fun, go way, way, back to the beginning of your memories, to when you were just a small child.  Look for a truly peaceful time in your life here where you maybe only just vaguely, can still remember.  It could be to a day like mine:  outside, a class fieldtrip, the yellow school bus in the distance, holding hands with my classmates, walking along the grassed bank of a flowing creek leading to a shaded duck pond, and under the watchful eye of some really nice teacher (she sincerely loved kids).  Just me, this joyful teacher and my wee sized classmates. 

During this outing, there was a picnic and my mother had carefully packed my favorite lunch including a Little Debbie chocolate cake for desert ("Ho Hos"), and my very own, 12 ounce can of Coca Cola to drink, wrapped in aluminum foil.   Here I was, loved, cared for, secure, outside God's green earth, beside myself with so much beauty, creation and fascinating creatures.

Duck pond somewhere in Albany, Oregon.

Now remember with me guys, go as far back as you can, to your earliest "day of innocence."  Was it when you were out on the fishing pier of your family's coastal vacation home, just you and your brother?  How about when you were under the family Christmas tree, you and dad holding onto your first real fishing rod? Maybe it was during your first Dallas Cowboy football game with your dad, mom and sisters?

Except for perhaps disobeying our parents or not sharing with our siblings, here we were, innocent, free of any kind of major "sin," full of joy and wonderment.  If you've got the correct time period locked in, you were still quite distant and free from any kind of heartache or struggle: bullying, poor athletic abilities, bad grades, speaking or performance gaffs, etc.  Even further away were you from the inevitable loss of job, financial crisis, major illness, failed relationship, death of a loved one, loss of faith, addiction, etc.  

It feels good to go back there doesn't it? This childhood memory, this joy.  Why do we lose this joy?  In it's place, we begin regretting life, the failed opportunities, missed relationships, things that we should have, could have, might have done. 

Why do we lose God?   

• I can't explain electricity….but it exists.
• I can't explain TV reception….but it exists.
• I can't explain international cell phone conversation either….but it exists.
• I can't explain air travel....but it exists.
• I can't explain Miss Universe….but she exists.
• I can't explain Ferrari...but it exists.
• I can't explain "Albert Einstein like" intelligence...but it exists.
• I can't explain the beginning of the universe….but it exists.

• I can't explain God….but God exists.

Maybe you've never believed in God even though the principles of God exists all around you.  Though the principles of electricity have existed since the beginning of creation, we didn't learn how to "turn the switch on" until the 19th century.  Or, maybe you really knew God all along but now, no longer know joy.  "You were within me while I had gone outside to seek you.  In my unloveliness, I fell heedlessly upon all those lovely things you had made.  Always you were with me, but I was not with you.  Created things kept me far from you; yet if they had not been in you, they would not have been at all." said St. Augustine.

That which "attracts" us, that which stirs our hearts, is but a foretaste of the more everlasting love to eventually envelop us for all of eternity.  Every good childhood memory, the events that frame them, the core goodness, comes from God!  Miss Universe, did she really get away, NO gentlemen!  Her core goodness and beauty comes from God!   Lusting after anybody, same sex, opposite sex, is just counterfeit for the core love that your heavenly soul really seeks but that the earthly flesh tends to corrupt; this core love - "is a gift" from God explains Christopher West in his John Paul II Theology of the Body seminars.   The astounding human creativity and workmanship behind every Ferrari or Mercedes S Class that you may never afford, don't worry, the core goodness comes from God.  The ingenuity behind the iPad - this too comes from God; the great scientific principles and discoveries - all coming from God.   The greatest vacation spots in the world also come from God and to think you're destined for God!  "... yet if they had not been in you, they would not have been at all."

The Church on earth, comes from God, Mary's yes.  Jesus Christ, born of human flesh, eternally begotten of God, dying out of love for us, resurrected and ever present through the Holy Spirit, IS God.

What if this childhood joy is just a taste of what eternal joy is like in the light of God; times 10 raised to the 100 power; a little bit of heaven now?  Every small and fleeting joy on earth then being just a foretaste of what's to permanently come in life eternal.  Reclaiming this joy we would be reminding ourselves of what we are moving towards, that in itself, a cause for joy in the here and now.

I believe praying and fasting allows one to receive God's grace and with grace, one is able to go even further in the pursuit of the truth, of things of God.  Over time, an even deeper form of praying evolves:  the "contemplating" of God's mysteries as revealed in Scripture and spiritual books.  With patience, an effective contemplative prayer will yield consolation.  A consolation is a brief "touch" or feeling much like this childhood experience of peace, joy and security;  the same feeling that one's joyful childhood memory invokes, experienced briefly in the present moment!  It is a revelation, if you will, of things to come, of this eternal, never ending  joy. 

Jesus Christ said, "Let the children come to me.  Do not hinder them.  The kingdom of God belongs to such as these."  And he laid his hands on their heads before he left that place.   Matthew 19:14

I think we need to allow our hearts to become childlike again if only to rekindle this taste of heaven on earth.  Don't you?

"Late have I loved you, O Beauty so ancient and so new.  Too late have I loved you!  You were within me while I had gone outside to seek you.  In my unloveliness, I fell heedlessly upon all those lovely things you had made.  Always you were with me, but I was not with you.  Created things kept me far from you; yet if they had not been in you, they would not have been at all.  You called, you shouted, you broke open my deafness.  You blazed, you gleamed, you banished my blindness.  You lavished your fragrance, I gasped, and now I long for you.  I trusted you, and now I hunger and thirst.  You touched me, and now I burn with desire for your peace." - Confessions (X, 27, 38) St. Augustine of Hippo

Ferrari 458 Italia

Gratia Sanans

Is it easy to live the life of a Christian today; you know avoiding sin and all?

How can anyone be sure that one can even stay on the right course, go the right way, the way of the Christian?  "The Way."

This world is full of temptations and the earth's so called "ruler", albeit weakened in defeat since the resurrection of Jesus Christ, is still "diabolical" as Biblically revealed to us, and does not appear to be the sort of candidate looking after our spiritual welfare  (John 12:31; 14:30; 16:11; 2 Corinthians 4:4; Ephesians 2:2; 6:12; 1 John 5:19).

Fortunately, a whole lot better news than this is also Biblically revealed to us.

In the meantime, in the day to day struggle against sin we all want to know how to persevere:  "What is the remedy? Not nature, only grace." writes  Benedict Baur in Frequent Confession: Its Place in the Spiritual Life. 

So where does one inherit such grace? 

For me and millions of other Catholics around the globe the answer is found in the sacraments instituted by Jesus Christ.

What are the sacraments?

They are physical manifestations, they are outward signs, for sinners and pious alike, instituted by Christ, to give grace. These are called sacraments. 

The sacraments I have personally received through the Catholic Church are:

• Baptism,

• Penance,

• Eucharist, (scroll down after clicking the link)

• Confirmation,  (scroll down after clicking the link)

• Matrimony  (scroll down after clicking the link)

Catholics believe there are only two others:  Anointing of Sick (for the gravely or terminally ill) and Holy Orders (for men consecrated to the priestly life).

Are these sacraments really for sinners?  Yes especially sinners. 

Remember the gospel story of the prodigal son?  The great love the father had for the prodigal son returning home after squandering the family inheritance during a life of debauchery and licentious living? (Lk 15:11-32)  The father lavishes his repentant son with gifts and a feast.  This is how much God loves you and me! 

 "The Beat Goes On" is my own personal testimony to exactly this: God's unqualified love for the repentant sinner.  Unqualified meaning "no strings attached!"   Despite my long spell of sinful transgressions and separation from God, I am not only accepted back into the fold but abundantly blessed with mercy, compassion, forgiveness, and all the while, showered with life renewing grace.   

 

In the sacrament of Catholic confession, one tells one's sins to a priest.  One keeps a contrite heart and a sincere resolve to change ones ways so that "what is above all given to us is an increase of healing grace, what theologians call gratia sanans." writes Baur.

Otherwise, says Baur, left to our own devices, one can only "rely on his own proud and egoistic interpretation of his experience and the events of his life.  He has to trust his own covetous self-seeking and his boundless self-centeredness and his hatred for everything that contradicts his own will.  He is the unfortunate man of whom it is written:  "To will is present with me, but to accomplish that which is good, I find not.  For the good which I will, I do not; but the evil which I will not, that I do….I find then a law, that when I have a will to do good, evil is present with me….Unhappy man that I am!" (Rom 7:18-24)

I don't know about you but probably like me, in pursuit of happiness, we've both already tried, God help us, the many different alternatives our modern heathen society offers: lifestyles, material acquisitions, career ambitions, you name it.  

But I hope one day too, you can testify along with me, in light of the truth found in the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit, all the rest is just emptiness and injury at worst and back to the starting point at best -I pray that our confessions may be testimony to posterity!

What other way is there?  None!

Stage Addiction

If people have paid a cover charge at the door or have paid to come in and eat a meal, to dance, etc. this then is what we would call a "professional gig."  Forgetting our high school performances as a teenage band, up to that day,  June 20, 1997 - the closest I got to a "professional" musical event stage, was as a roadie/sound and light guy for my brother's band, the Titans.  I would get to walk on stage, introduce the band, and then walk off the stage, to the back of the room, where the sound and light controls were located. 

That all changed one day when my brother Marc Geraci called me up to "sit in" with the band he was in called Carrie Dell and the Time Piece.  I think Marc had even agreed to split half of his pay with me.  He had told the other musicians in the band that he had a brother who had recently started playing the congas.  They were like, "Sure, man, call him over."   I had never even sat in with this band, didn't know what songs they would be playing - all I really knew -  Marc was a rock solid time keeper and I could follow him on the drums.

What's it like being on a "professional" stage, playing a "gig?" 

The feelings I had were both of terror and of having finally, so-to-speak, arrived musically, even though, I had just only recently embarked on this whole hand drum pursuit.  I think at that time, Marc and I had practiced together only a few times ourselves, mostly just me showing him rhythms I had learned from my drum lessons,  probably demonstrating them on a tabletop during family get-togethers.  

Prior to all this, a co-worker of mine, Dan Archer, had heard about my new conga interests and had encouraged me to pick-up "What's Going On" by Marvin Gaye an ultimate, conga-centric work of music.  He wasn't kidding!  So I asked my drum teacher to write out the dominant conga rhythm in "What's GoingOn" and I saw that I could apply this same rhythm to just about any rock-n-roll piece with a 4/4 time signature. 

Having a band himself, Dan called me out to some musician's practice hall where his band regularly met.  I agreed, secretly with reluctance, and when I got out there, to my horror, I learned there was no trap drummer in sight!  I would have to keep time for the band!  Imagine that, a drummer being asked to keep time (and I hadn't even thought to bring along my metronome.) "Exposed as a fake!" was my dominant line of self talk but, despite all this, I got through it, come to find we were all "struggling" musicians that day.

But now, there we were, Marc and I, playing together in Jonestown, Texas, my first "paid gig," my first "professional" stage, just letting it flow song to song, set to set.  The band must have liked my contribution, imperfect as it was, because they asked me out to several more shows and we played until Marc decided to disband, looking for a new project.

What's it like being on a "professional" stage, playing a "gig?" 

It's a thrill, an exhilarating, tiring, experience.  One literally drains oneself to play the correct parts at the correct times yet, at the same time, one is fueled to the limit in concert with the crowds reaction and enthusiasm to what is being performed.

Taken the wrong way, it's a head inflating experience, a high, an addiction borne from perhaps a misguided perception of the audience's adoration.  Leaving the stage between sets one is even conscience of the eyes following you, perhaps clouded eyes, resulting from copious consumption of alcoholic beverages.   The attention elevates the psyche, boosts the self worth, at least temporarily.  

Following the long tear-down and late night arrival to home one asks why would anyone in their right mind want to make their living this way? 

But the next day, ears still ringing from proximity to the cymbals the night before, all is forgotten and one can’t wait to repeat it all over again and play the next gig.  

Granted one knows that most won't make a living with music alone and so one finds just enough work to keep one immersed in one's music.

For the next thirteen plus years this is exactly what I lived for, elevating and idolizing this experience above any other ideal or object.

"Denying oneself means refusing to be the centre of one's own attention.  The true disciple must be centred on Christ, to whom must be directed all thoughts and cares, so that our entire day truly becomes an offering to Christ." writes Fr. Francis Fernandez, In Conversation with God

"Stones Throw" by Marc Geraci

The band Stones Throw would be my last serious band effort in 1999-2001.  The band had major label interest and played at every SXSW showcase from 1999-2001.  We also played for record executives in Philadelphia and Atlantic City.  Gary Geraci would join us for a few highly profiled shows in Austin most notably at Antone's and Lucy's Retired Surfer Bar.  One of the highlights of the CD is a rousing live rendition of "Voodoo Chile" with Gary on the congas.  Other standouts include "By Your Side"  and "She Walks Away."

Marc Geraci on drums, Gary Geraci on percussion in Stones Throw, 1999-2000

The Divas & Cavaliers were just a fun little cover band Gary and I joined in May of 2009.  We got the rock-n-roll fever again after a fun Titans reunion went down at my wedding reception in March of 2009.

Marc Geraci (in blonde wig) on drums, Gary Geraci on percussion, Divas & Cavaliers 2009

Gary and I would play roughly 14 shows with the band in just 3 months time.  One of the highlights was a retro 1980s costume party and 'biker' night at Chestnut Square in Bastrop, TX.  Unfortunately, the bandleader ran the band as if it was a major corporation and became too much to handle. 

This was our last music project to date. 

Courtesy Marc Geraci. Visit Marc's Soundcloud page for a selection of original music.

"The Midnight Sons" by Marc Geraci

The Midnight Sons band formed in 1995 after Ty Gavin, former lead singer of the Next and AlinBlack, former guitarist of Sharon Tate's Baby called Ken Geraci to inform him that they had a handful of original songs and wanted to know if the brothers were interested in forming a band.

Ty and Alin had been in a band in Los Angeles, CA during the past five years and were ready to move back to their hometown for a new beginning.

The Midnight Sons formed in the winter of 1995 and disbanded in the fall of 1996.  Our sound was an interesting mix of alternative rock and biker bar rock.  Ken and Daniel Geraci would each bring a few songs of their own to the table.  A few of the standout tunes were "Mrs. Brown," "Last Dance," "Signs of Life," "Hollywood," and a revamped "Christina."  The band also really shined on a few of Ty's classics such as "Share" and "Real Love."

The band played at the famed Raul's reunion show in 1995 and went on to play at the Austin Music Awards.  The band would also play a few clubs in San Antonio in 1996 including Rock Island.

Unfortunately, as soon as the band really started to gel, tragedy struck.  Guitarist Alin Black had gone back to LA to visit from friends but never made the trip back.  He died of a heroin overdose in the fall of1996.

The Geraci brothers would go on to do various band projects throughout the remainder of the 1990's.  Daniel would go on to play bass and sing with his church band and Ken wrote music for the St. LouisCatholic choir.

Gary Geraci became a percussionist during his free time as a University of Texas student and would later  join me to play a few shows during my short lived stint with Carrie Dell's cover band in 1997 (Carrie Dell and the Timepiece). 

The Midnight Sons featuring Ty Gavin (red shirt), Ken Geraci (white shirt), Daniel Geraci (black shirt) and Marc Geraci on drums. Rock Island, San Antonio, TX 1995.

Courtesy Marc Geraci. Visit Marc's Soundcloud page for a selection of original music.

"Restless Native" by Marc Geraci

Other than a few reunion shows played at Daniel Geraci's wedding in 1999 and my wedding in 2009, The Titans would not form again.

Restless Native came out directly after The Titans officially broke up on 12/31/1992.  During the fall of '92, Daniel and I started to audition singers and guitarists.  Daniel and I were frequenting the nightclubs quite regularly and were inspired by local artists such as Ian Moore, Joe Rockhead, The Arc Angels, and The Bizness.

We were really expanding our musical horizons and listening to a lot of James Brown, jazz, and alternative rock bands such as Primus, Jane's Addiction, Nirvana, and Smashing Pumpkins.  The idea was to complete something completely different sounding than what we did with The Titans.

By the winter of 1993, we had found our lead vocalist and lyrists David Pearson and lead guitarist Vana from Germany.  Sadly, nobody can remember his last name.  Sorry Vana!

Ken Geraci entered the picture by March 1993 with a few songs of his own.  The band went on to play several rousing shows at Steamboat.  The technical prowess of Restless Native was not to be matched by any other band that I have been in.

Unfortunately, the project was short lived due to irreconcilable differences; the band dissolved in the fall of 1993.

Some of band's standout tunes include "Mrs. Brown" and "Tear it Down" written by Daniel and "Fading Away" written by David, Vana, and Daniel.  "Wake Up Call," which was one of Ken's new tunes had quite a bit of potential but was being worked on right before the break up and never was completed.   

Marc Geraci

Courtesy Marc Geraci. Visit Marc's Soundcloud page for a selection of original music.

10. Battle of the Banks 2006-2007

If you're pulled within to take the high road, to do the right thing, don't fight it. 


I lost my legal fight but won abjection, the seed of humility. 


In retrospect, the arguments, good or bad, demonstrate how God works through humankind; often through those that are the most incapable and irreligious.


There were others fighting this too, many indignant cries of "I told you so" in 2008.


The faithful, people of goodwill have been assured of a place where justice is recognized and celebrated, our hope lies there.

Lady Justice

9. Iowa

(Original Blog Text Posted in 2007 by Gary E. Geraci, hyperlinks added this posting - Actual names and addresses redacted by author, May 2012.  Where indicated, all dates and case numbers are authentic and can be retrieved under Federal Open Records law.)

Music courses through my body, blood, and soul.  Music is the salve, the spirit which animates my mind, body, and soul.  Greater than any other singular force, refreshing, sustaining, pushing, and motivating, I have elicited a lifetime of benefits from all that is musical.  I am in deep gratitude for such divine gift.   Inspiration drawn from music has sustained my spirit during the deepest, darkest hours especially when staring down seemingly insurmountable adversity.

During my approximate year long legal battle against Mortgage Bank WF, I can define a particular genre of music that dominated my world: hard rock. 

One band in particular, Slipknot, produced a double live album called “9.0. Live.”   This work single handedly accompanied and sustained my soul during the countless hours consumed researching law and writing legal documents and briefs.  The spectacle of the live show this album memorialized, a stage full of musicians and performers, identities concealed in horrid, goulish, zombie like dress, simply blew me away.  I found the front man’s attitude and explicit commentary between songs regarding his stand against corporate record labels to be immensely satisfying, especially when introducing the album’s platinum status to his cheering audience.  I played this album over and over again, day after day, and at high volume levels. 

Normally a “riff” rather than a “lyric” man, the line “I fight for the ones who can’t fight” in the song “Pulse of the Maggots” resonated with particular clarity and meaning during this period.  Further, I could relate the sheer, unrelenting pain in the singer’s repeated scream “SHE ISN’T REAL, I CAN’T MAKE HER REAL” in the song “Vermillion” to indignation borne by a judicial system not capable of administering justice for all.  

Ironically, Mortgage Bank WF, N.A., the division strategically placed in the front and center of the battle by Mortgage Bank WF legal counsel, is headquartered in none-other than Des Moines, Iowa, the same location the band Slipknot calls home!

I declare my gratitude to the people of Des Moines, Iowa, to the band Slipknot, and to the city’s burgeoning creative class!  

8. Taking A Stand

 (Original Blog Text, "FBI Tips and Public Leads," Posted in 2008 by Gary E. Geraci, hyperlinks added this posting - Actual names and addresses redacted by author, May 2012.  Where indicated, all dates and case numbers are authentic and can be retrieved under Federal Open Records law.)

The following is the word-for-word transcription of an admission I made to the FBI on or around 6/15/2006 via the site https://tips.fbi.gov/.  No one from the FBI ever followed up.

"Please have a member of Supervising Special Residential Agent, Mr. P. N. staff call Mr. Gary Geraci regarding the PMC 2006 conference Mr. N. recently attended.

Several members in attendance should be of particular interests to your continuing investigation against rising mortgage fraud.  We hope this is why you had an agent at the recent conference.

While trumpeting the accolades of the newest mortgage industry software: expediting turn time origination to close, ridding the process of human biases, the inherent ability to prevent fraud, etc., these very developers and alliance partners your agent encountered at the conference, have developed a private, password protected network where they run an operation called a “Collateral Management System,” or CMS.

Based on alliance partners’ own admissions, the operation, through its alliance partnership agreements, should now consist of a controlling market share of the country’s entire mortgage sector.  Go to your Internet research and follow the company “XXX” and “XXX XXX” to start.  Mr. R’s XXX is the organization behind the CMS and the new, fast, broadband width “Smart Pipes.”  Realize this alliance encompasses not only a controlling share of the country’s collateral valuation consumers such as the national lenders, but also a commanding share of the varying service providers all vying to stay in good grace with such powerful aggregation of “mortgage service” consumers.  These service providers are professions such as appraisers, inspectors, title companies, credit agencies, etc.

My own investigation, focusing solely on the appraisal side of collateral valuation, is now in proceedings before the Secretary of Treasury, Case NO: 2006-SOX-000091.  The Sarbanes-Oxley forum is appropriate because of the tie-in the appraiser has to the collateral valuation process for Mortgage Backed Security instruments our country trades globally.  The pleadings presented reveal substantive evidence laying the framework for an oligopsony like alliance, its synergies, and its creation of boutique, software applications, particularly in the area of Loan Origination Systems or LOS applications.  The evidence collected, in appearance alone, circumstantially suggests an illegal avenue for appraiser blacklisting.  Furthermore, and most troubling to me, are appraiser selection capabilities based on irregular, “performance comparison” reports a loan officer can do in her LOS to isolate and reward top performing appraisers based on individual dollar contributions to the lender’s overall, closed loan dollar volumes.  These capabilities are in clear violation of banking laws such as promulgated under FIRREA.  The alliance becomes illegal and anticompetitive when it leverages such size and weight to design products and private, password protected communication networks to collectively wrestle away control of the service provider section charged with the “unbiased” analysis of collateral quality.  The economic harm against our nation has historically been severe under such “control frauds.”

It is clever that such alliance would try to keep “its enemy close” in inviting members of your office and the Comptroller of Currency’s office to such an event.  However, I hope I have piqued enough interest with my tip and pledge full cooperation should a forthcoming investigation be warranted."

Respectfully,

Gary Geraci

Appraiser and Graduate Engineer

7. Blowing Bubbles

(Original Text, "Mmm, mmm, mmmh. Go Figure" Posted in 2007 by Gary E. Geraci)

Mmm, mmm, mmmh. Go figure.  What’s that you say Mr. and Mrs. Homeowner?  Your bank is ready to foreclose on your home? 

You mean that home I appraised about a year ago for $100,000, the value that at the time your loan officer said was “too low?”  Didn’t you and your loan officer get after me and say that I was “killing the deal?”  Didn’t your loan officer then “save the deal” by calling in another appraiser who appraised the home at $120,000, the exact amount needed to get a new loan?  And you guys now owe $120,000 on a home that every buyer, investor, appraiser, and real estate agent alike knows will only sell for $100,000.  Oh, I’m so sorry that you lost your job Mr. Homeowner.  I understand that you are now forced to sell your home.  You’re kidding me?  No offers yet on your $120,000 sales price?  And you must ask for $120,000 because you owe $120,000?  I see.  


Mmm, mmm, mmmmh. Go figure.

What’s that Mr. Banker?  I agree, that incompetent appraiser! Who convinced him to appraise such property at $120,000 in the first place?  Yeah, I know. What’s that? You’re not going to lose a minimum $20,000 on that $120,000 loan that you made last year? But you’re taking the house back aren’t you?  The homeowners can’t make the house payment and the market is only going to pay $100,000 because every house in the area identical to the one you are taking back is selling for, at the most, $100,000, correct?    What’s that?  You already sold off the loan interests in Mr. Homeowner’s property in a Residential Mortgage Backed Security offering (RMBS)?  


So a Wall Street investor bought the $120,000 note convinced that should the note go bad, the collateral, the home itself, could be sold for $120,000?  So you have passed the risks out of your bank and into the hands of American investors?  Brilliant!  (No wonder your loan officers commit bank fraud so regularly!) The bank’s own investors don’t have to deal with such risks and even if you were found responsible for the bad loan your legal department could simply go after the appraiser and sue him for inflating the appraised value thereby creating all the losses.  After all, your bank did hire an independent, third party appraiser to appraise that property correct?  Nice to absolve yourself of any wrongdoing right?   What’s that?  Seeing a lot of foreclosures as of late? I see.  


Mmm, mmm, mmmh.  Go figure.