- on stage,
- behind a conga kit,
- with several months of near daily practice,
- well rehearsed with each song in the set list,
- having worked in a multitude of percussion instruments during the performance (tambourines, shakers, guiro, bells, clave...)
Even better if my
brother Marc was sitting next to me on the drum kit - especially after having
had several private jam sessions to work out any new material together.
Under these
circumstances, you just new things were going to click that night.
The seat of honor
for any Austin musician would have been playing the 'Carnegie Hall' of Austin,
the Antone's stage. A who's-who's list of
musicians have played here during it's 30 plus year history. And now - I've played there too. My brother Marc has played there, we did it
together with the band called Stones Throw in 1999.
 |
| Gary (congas) and Marc Geraci (drums) with the band Stones Throw at Antones, Austin, Texas, 1999 |
I think all of my
brothers have had the privilege of playing a gig at Antone's at least once or
twice during their musical careers.
But this seat of
honor passes too quickly, fading into oblivion, no one really ever remembering
it again. Anyway, it kind of leaves a
gaping hole in one's heart and one never quite stops pining for an experience
like it.
"What an
enormous effort people make to be noticed and remembered and admired. What little effort is put into being close to
God!" admonishes Fr. Francis
Fernandez (Conversations with God,
Volume 5.)
It took me a while
to figure this out. Only God is capable
of filling such a hole, permanently and everlastingly. Having gradually come to this conclusion, I
finally made the choice, once and for all, to put in close to God.
Paradoxically, I am now taught "do not to sit in a place of honor...But when you are invited, go and
sit in the lowest place, so that when your host comes he may say to you,
'Friend, go up higher'; then you will be honored in the presence of all who sit
at the table with you. For everyone who
exalts himself shall be humbled, and he who humbles himself shall be exalted."
Luke 14:8-11
This virtue of
humility "should not be thought of as an essentially negative exercise,
even though it does involve a denial of one's pride, a tampering of our
ambition and the extinction of our egotism and vanity" teaches Father
Fernandez.
Yeah, especially
true for musicians Father, but aren't these deal killers to the essence of whom
we are as performers? "No, No! We are
all children of God, created in his image; this is one's essence. If music inspires it's only because God
willed it that way first!" I can imagine him responding.
"If we examine
the word humility we find it to be
derived from the Latin humus, which
means earth, soil, or dirt. Humility signifies a recognition of our human
origin in the dust of which Adam was made.
The virtue of humility, therefore, consists in the living out of a
realistic appraisal of our comparative insignificance as creatures who are
totally dependent on God." -cf. R. Garrigou-Lagrange, The Three Ages of the Interior Life, II, p. 118.
"Humility, by inclining us toward the earth,
recognizes our littleness, our poverty, and in its way glorifies the majesty of
God...The interior soul experiences a holy joy in annihilating itself, as it
were, before God to recognize practically that He alone is great and that, in
comparison with His, all human greatness is empty of truth like a lie."
-ibid
Father Fernandez
goes on teaching "This self-abnegation in no way impoverishes the
soul. It does not limit the legitimate
aspirations of the creature. On the
contrary, this virtue works to ennoble the soul, giving it wings on which to
explore wider horizons."
Slowly, I've come to
know the value of detachment - I'm still working on humility though, please
bear with me. The drums and practice
sessions simply don't own me anymore.
The talents are God given, they won't just vaporize into thin air,
granted they may need to coaxed out of the cave of under-utilization. With practice; should the occasion ever
arise again, anything is possible on the congas, given that is, the workings of
an "ennobled soul" with "wings."
