Second Chances

In the spirit of second chances, 2012- 2013 has been a good one for me. 

I attended my first silent retreat, in fact, my first Christian retreat ever, a Catholic retreat, an Opus Dei sponsored retreat spanning three nights and approximately three days. 

Opus Dei is a personal prelature of the Catholic Church and for me, has provided a way to live life in order to have a winning chance of beating the world's allurements and "pull" towards the kinds of addictions that plagued me in the past.  A way to live 'in the world' yet in a way that can't easily be put into words, a way to live that's 'out of this world.'  

In a nutshell, one lives daily norms conceived by the founder, Josemaria Escriva, now a canonized Saint of the Catholic Church.  These daily norms, more than anything else, ground me in a way of life that includes prayer, reflection, and aligning oneself with the truth.  The daily norms perpetuate and reinforce the second chance, the conversion I have been given in life and keep me from sliding back, loosing my hold, surrendering the ability to persevere against all odds.

"The work," as it is appropriately called, consists of programs or apostolates run by men and women who have dedicated their lives to Jesus Christ and to bettering the world through programs of education, mentoring and character development. 

One such work that I recently learned of focuses on those in high school, a program for young men, between 9th through 11th grade.  It's called "The Grade Seminars: A Leadership Program for College-Bound Young Men Grades 9-11." 

Here, during a series of monthly Saturday meetings, the young men are introduced to positive male role models from the local community; recognized leaders in the fields of medicine, education, engineering, psychology, dentistry, etc.

The young men are taught through a series of talks under the general heading of "The Big Picture:" (for Freshmen)

• Making the Most of High School

• Character and Maturity,

• Culture: The World of Books, Music and Art,

• True Manliness: Father and Family Man,

• What makes You Happy?

• And other topics

Later, for Sophomores and Juniors, the young men are offered "The Professional Seminar" including presentations such as:

• IT Services: Data, Clouds and Websites

• Engineering/Academia/Social Sciences/Medicine/Dentistry career talks

• Becoming a Lifelong Reader

• Planning for a Productive Summer

• Citizenship and the Common Good

• And other professional development talks 

In addition to the seminars and talks, each student is assigned a mentor who will meet individually with him between the monthly sessions.  The mentor will guide the student in setting important and practical goals and help him apply the information learned.

Despite the many negatives in the world, other like minded people ARE engaging others to make the world a better place.  A new high-gloss, high-fashion magazine called Verily publishes it's first magazine in June; a magazine that "promotes true femininity" without the half-naked, sexualized headlines that many women find offensive and assaulting. 

And there are others;

many others.

In my own, "second chance" effort, I have organized an ecumenical, faith at work Intranet community, utilizing the United States Department of Agriculture's IBM Connect Intranet platform.  The community called "Faith at Work," is available to some 100,00 plus USDA employees, is the only faith based community of its kind, will celebrate its one year anniversary June 26, the feast day of St Josemaria Escriva, and as of a few days ago, welcomed its 127th member (310 as of December, 2016)!  Our members come from all over the USA, attend religious services under many diverse denominations, and are united through common devotion to Jesus Christ and the compelling desire and need to bring faith based principles into the workplace.

Long ago, aging men were actually sought out and respected for their wisdom and counsel.  Given my second chance, I too should strive to be this; to be it now, in the modern day.  "This generation of older men did not become elders, they just became elderly.  This has to stop.  You have a God-given responsibility to mentor younger men." - Jonathon E. Doyle

There's a calling for this today, men and women alike, especially to those like minded in Jesus Christ, those striving to live Christ-like lives; continuing to challenge oneself, becoming worthy mentors to our youth, to our coworkers, becoming leaders, encouraging and optimistic, faith-filled, a beacon to positive and lasting cultural transformation.

In the world of second chances, my efforts have only just begun. 

One Wooden Conga

Playing percussion live meant sometimes being invited out somewhere and for the economy of fitting a multi-piece band onto limited space, being asked to bring just one conga to the performance, instead of my customary, four drum set-up. 

One conga drum, simply to keep time or to spice up the trap drum set with well placed conga tones, delivered with a bit of creativity, indeed, will suffice. 

But what beauty and depth is brought to the performance with the addition of three more conga drums, each tuned up or down from the one primary, wood drum, the conga. A stage set-up with four, individually tuned conga drums, shakers, tambourines, and bells played in some order, sometimes more, sometimes less, never overbearing, works to magnify the intensity of "spice" a percussionist adds to an ensemble or rock group.

Everything can be gained by praying and worshiping Jesus Christ alone, though God Himself is a Trinity, a great spiraling and swirling love affair between a Father, a Son, and a Holy Spirit.  We learn to pray to God through his Son, Jesus Christ. 

 

For Catholic believers, there's also an extra dimension if you will; beauty, efficacy, and consolation in thinking about all the other characters and creation of the great story of our salvation, especially Mary, the mother of God, all the angels, and those human beings throughout history behind the growth of Christianity, many even dying for the Christian faith, the saints.

The more I study and adore the life of Jesus Christ the man, God having become human flesh, the more apt I become in trying to imitate the 24/7 of his sacred humanity.   Inevitably this means recognizing as a fact Jesus Christ, from the very first day of his life on earth, interacted with and loved ALL of his creation, but beyond measure, loved especially human kind in ALL of its dimensions.  Jesus prayed to the Father every chance he had but he also interacted with ALL of creation to teach, pray, and make known the Kingdom of God.

The Bible account of Jesus' birth illustrates this grandly.  Mother Mary, Saint Joseph and the Holy family have a Son, Jesus Christ born in a manger with a donkey, a cow, and a host of visitors from poor shepherds to rich and generous Kings.  In our own families we have a mother, a father, brothers, and sisters.  ALL there to love and to ask things.  A family might even bring in a dog to love or a cat to love.  Oh, don't forget about one's uncles, aunts, cousins and best friends; you can love and ask them things too.  Ask what?  How do I look today?  Can I borrow some money?  Will you cook me something?  How does this sound?  Can we visit?  Will you pray for me?  Just like Jesus did, the One all Christians are called to imitate.

And there's more.  We learn about (and try to imitate) the great love for and obedience Jesus showed his mother and his friends growing up into adulthood.  We witness the help his apostles gave him, we witness the intercessory pleas he responded to from people representing other people who couldn't quite reach him.  We see his love and concern for family members of the deceased. 

I'm telling you, Jesus, in all of his sacred humanity, just wouldn't be satisfied with one wooden conga! 

Fast forward.  Creation, His and ours, speaks of diversity too. We have incredible choices of foods, wines, paintings, music, careers, automobiles, and homes to enjoy.  Many different houses of worship too: the Lutherans on the corner, the Methodists down the road, the Baptists across town, the Catholics downtown, etc., ALL having a fervent devotion to Jesus Christ.  And many more, ALL worshiping a transcendental God.  And still more, All believing in multiple gods, and another group, All believing in no god what-so-ever.

There's not just one bird, one cat; but scores and scores of bird species and house-cats, bobcats, cheetahs, leopards, lions, tigers, jaguars, etc. 

Creation shouts loudly regarding depth and diversity and God calls it ALL good.

I feel the tide of finger pointing and cries of "relativist" beginning to descend upon me and so I will remind the reader once again our primary Christian goal, the caveat: the imitation of Christ.

I believe we all benefit when we can contemplate ALL of Christ, using our God given imagination, imploring the Holy Spirit, the traditions of our fathers, the Bible, church teaching, etc.  Coming to know ALL dimensions of Jesus Christ's sacred humanity rather than merely confining one's perspective to something sterile and wooden, perhaps defined by a view narrowly drawn from a strictly literal interpretation of the Bible.  It's like playing one wooden conga instead of four melodic conga drums, beautifully tuned, played proportionately and at proper volume levels.  Sure, it can be done, even to some benefit and profit, when space constraints exist, but there's a cost in beauty and depth.

Diversity magnifies the Lord, Mother Mary tells us:  My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior. (Luke 1:44)

 "The virtue of humility, so evident in Our Lady's life, is truth, (cf St. Teresa of Avila, Sixth Mansion, ch 106) the true recognition of what we are and are worth in the eyes of God and of our fellow men.  It is also an emptying of ourselves to allow God to work in us with his grace. It is the rejection of appearances and of superficiality; it is the expression of the depth of the human spirit; it is a condition for its greatness (John Paul II, Angelus, 4 March 1979).  ….[W]e come before God as debtors who do not know how to discharge our debts, (cf Matt 18:23-35) and for this reason we go to Mary as the Mediatrix of all graces, to the Mother of mercy and tenderness to whom no one has had recourse in vain."  (In Conversation with God, Volume One, Advent and Christmastide, Francis Fernandez)

God isn't myopic. We discover great diversity in this, the whole entire economy of salvation that God has revealed to us: in tradition, in scripture, and in nature.  "The written law kills, but the Spirit gives life" says St. Paul in his letter to the Corinthians (2 Corinthians 3:6).  "The letter kills." repeats St. Ambrose "it is the Spirit which gives life" a spiritual a reflection of reality, of what is observed all around us. 

Yes, one can play with just one wooden conga but the voices, the melodic possibilities off all four played together is much more pleasing and robust.  I'll make the extra work to show up with all four drums any day.  Real life is much more interesting, full of depth, meaning, and unfathomable diversity, accordingly, this is the way God created it. 

Following the real life of Jesus Christ, shouldn't our faith and prayer life be equally deep and robust?

Many Hands Many Rhythms

Writing pop music percussion parts from the kitchen table may not seem like much but I learned a long time ago it's in the attention to the little things and the love that one puts into something that really does make it all count in the end.

I had studied a "Nashville Songwriting" handbook to learn that every song has got some pattern to it, for example: intro, verse, verse, chorus, solo, verse, chorus, tag.   Armed with this I could creatively orchestrate my own percussion contributions so as to play one rhythm for the verse and another rhythm for the chorus, perhaps substituting a shaker for the drum during the chorus, perhaps hitting a bell somewhere else, etc.

I would even take the time to document all of my parts for each song on sheet music that I would later display on stage with me on a music stand, sometimes to the amazement of my band mates - percussion parts are simple and repetitive who needs sheet music?

The band was called Divas and Cavaliers and there my brother Marc and I were again, just another cover band for hire, among hundreds of others.  Playing somewhere in Spicewood, Texas one summer evening during 2009, there came to the floor a young lady along with her aged companion, a  physically handicapped man, could have been a father daughter combination, to dance, perhaps for the last time, to one such song, a song where I had worked out all of the parts in advance.  Small parts, seemingly insignificant parts, but at that moment, parts contributing to a something far greater than what I could have ever imagined, a divine dance, the goodness of God made manifest.

"God desires man to flourish, to become who he is meant to be by sharing in the divine life" writes Bishop Robert Barron in his study book on Catholicism (http://www.wordonfire.org/).  "Yet this requires humility and a receptive spirit on the part of man." 

Finally, after years of practice, late night excursions, multitudes of shows and gigs I had experienced something meaningful, the million dollar payoff; a moment of depth, the epiphany that made the whole pursuit worthwhile.

Here's my contribution Lord Jesus, perhaps meager, a little effort, but just like the two fish that you turned into 5000 meals, I'm confident that my small efforts will be magnified into something meaningful and for your greater glory.

Our work, our efforts, it's not for God - God doesn't need it, nothing can be added to God; God does not exist in parts and pieces, God is everywhere all at once - omnipresent, THE source of all goodness and love.

It's really for you and me, each an orchestrator of our own life before God, tasked to make our own music with beats that will reciprocate our love back to God because God so loved us first. 

My brothers and sisters in Jesus Christ I pray that in your life too, the beat goes on.

D&C on the outdoor stage at Angel's Ice House, Spicewood, TX, Summer 2009

Seat of Honor

For a long time, the best seat in the house for me was

• on stage,
• behind a conga kit,
• with several months of near daily practice,
• well rehearsed with each song in the set list,

• having worked in a multitude of percussion instruments during the performance (tambourines, shakers, guiro, bells, clave...)

Even better if my brother Marc was sitting next to me on the drum kit - especially after having had several private jam sessions to work out any new material together. 

Under these circumstances, you just new things were going to click that night.

The seat of honor for any Austin musician would have been playing the 'Carnegie Hall' of Austin, the Antone's stage.  A who's-who's list of musicians have played here during it's 30 plus year history.  And now - I've played there too.  My brother Marc has played there, we did it together with the band called Stones Throw in 1999. 

Gary (congas) and Marc Geraci (drums) with the band Stones Throw at Antones, Austin, Texas, 1999

I think all of my brothers have had the privilege of playing a gig at Antone's at least once or twice during their musical careers.

But this seat of honor passes too quickly, fading into oblivion, no one really ever remembering it again.  Anyway, it kind of leaves a gaping hole in one's heart and one never quite stops pining for an experience like it. 

"What an enormous effort people make to be noticed and remembered and admired.  What little effort is put into being close to God!" admonishes  Fr. Francis Fernandez  (Conversations with God, Volume 5.) 

It took me a while to figure this out.  Only God is capable of filling such a hole, permanently and everlastingly.  Having gradually come to this conclusion, I finally made the choice, once and for all, to put in close to God. 

Paradoxically,  I am now taught "do not to sit in a place of honor...But when you are invited, go and sit in the lowest place, so that when your host comes he may say to you, 'Friend, go up higher'; then you will be honored in the presence of all who sit at the table with you.  For everyone who exalts himself shall be humbled, and he who humbles himself shall be exalted." Luke 14:8-11

This virtue of humility "should not be thought of as an essentially negative exercise, even though it does involve a denial of one's pride, a tampering of our ambition and the extinction of our egotism and vanity" teaches Father Fernandez.

Yeah, especially true for musicians Father, but aren't these deal killers to the essence of whom we are as performers?   "No, No! We are all children of God, created in his image; this is one's essence.  If music inspires it's only because God willed it that way first!" I can imagine him responding.

"If we examine the word humility we find it to be derived from the Latin humus, which means earth, soil, or dirt.  Humility signifies a recognition of our human origin in the dust of which Adam was made.  The virtue of humility, therefore, consists in the living out of a realistic appraisal of our comparative insignificance as creatures who are totally dependent on God." -cf. R. Garrigou-Lagrange, The Three Ages of the Interior Life, II, p. 118.

"Humility, by inclining us toward the earth, recognizes our littleness, our poverty, and in its way glorifies the majesty of God...The interior soul experiences a holy joy in annihilating itself, as it were, before God to recognize practically that He alone is great and that, in comparison with His, all human greatness is empty of truth like a lie." -ibid

Father Fernandez goes on teaching "This self-abnegation in no way impoverishes the soul.  It does not limit the legitimate aspirations of the creature.  On the contrary, this virtue works to ennoble the soul, giving it wings on which to explore wider horizons."

Slowly, I've come to know the value of detachment - I'm still working on humility though, please bear with me.  The drums and practice sessions simply don't own me anymore.  The talents are God given, they won't just vaporize into thin air, granted they may need to coaxed out of the cave of under-utilization.   With practice; should the occasion ever arise again, anything is possible on the congas, given that is, the workings of an "ennobled soul" with "wings."

Preserve It

The liberating effects of American contraception, live-in-relationships, Dr. Ruth's media messages and legalized abortion (just-in-case) couldn't have come at a better time for me.  Busting out of the inferiority shell of my youth and into the "anything goes" sexual revolution of the 80's and 90's was my ticket to happiness and fulfillment.  The parties, the clubs, the one night stands, need I say more?  Along with it came personal computers and access to a never ending stream of pornography.  We can't get enough of it would seem; the majority of the culture still acts as if this is all acceptable, signs of the time, part of a modern, progressive American culture many will say.  

But:

• No-one says anything about the violent ripping and tearing apart that happens when two hearts, supernaturally joined together during fornication, separate after things become inconvenient, constraining, or the lust just wears off; scarring and callousing the heart until it becomes cold and hardened like rock.  
• No-one prepares you for the short term horrors of an abortion procedure and the permanent long term effect of the guilt for having aided and abetted in the death of another human life.  
• No-one tells you what happens within the mind of another's child when they scream and cry out, objecting to your presence, longing for the affections of their natural father whom they seldom see now since their parents' divorce.  
• No-one tells you what it's like to find a partner leaving you for another woman, leaving her 'wilting' children with her mother for months while she 'blossoms' in the spring of her new perversion.  
• No-one to share the shame and embarrassment in treating STDs.  
• No-one says anything about the skewed view of American women you develop and the emptiness in finding her as a mere object lacking in any worthy qualities and all of the effort and will power that it will take to reverse this. 
• No-one says enough about the exploiting, manipulating, and trafficking that fuels the Internet pornography, 'gentlemen' clubs, and other sex trade operations that you patronize. 

Until now.

There is no lasting happiness and fulfillment here, sex in the American city is a deceitful sell, a downward spiral into hell itself.  The "cultural" cues that would try to tell you otherwise are false.  I know this to be true with concrete certainty because I lived it;  I struggle daily to erase it's negative effects.  

  

The sins may be forgiven but the stain never goes away, not in this lifetime. 

Your pure heart and body are a gift to your future family; your dignity, a gift from God. 

You're much better to preserve it.

"We may say that as a result of sin a threefold division has come into being for man; he has become divided from God, divided within himself, and divided from his fellow men.   First of all, by sin man was cut off from God, divided from him: that was the first division, and it is the origin and cause of the other two.  Men separated, detached from God, "become vain in their thoughts, and their foolish heart was darkened….Wherefore God gave them up to the desires of their heart, unto uncleanness...to shameful affections….And as they liked not to have God in their knowledge, God delivered them up to a reprobate sense, to do these things which are not convenient, being filled with all iniquity, malice...avarice, wickedness….inventors of evil things, foolish, without affection, without fidelity, without mercy" (Rom 1:21-31).  That is St. Paul's picture of mankind without God."  - Benedict Baur in Frequent Confession: Its Place in the Spiritual Life.   (p205)